The Return of the Arch Nemesis

   I should have posted this yesterday when I had the pent up rage over all of this, but life happened and I didn't have the time. I will do my best to do this post justice.
   So I was having a pretty shitty day yesterday before the arrival of Arch Nemesis. I'll just fill you in a bit before going into the subject of this post. I started my day being stuck at the bank, then got stuck behind a train, and I made it to work with literally one minute to spare. When I got to work HCB had his damn portable DVD player blaring once again. I swear to God I'm going to tell him to take the stupid thing home on Monday and never bring it back. He can never keep the volume at a respectable level. 
   Maybe 5 minutes into my shift I got asked some questions I didn't know the answer too. I don't know if you know this about me, but I hate not having the answer. I always do my best to stay knowledgeable so my employees have confidence in me. So I got flustered about that and I think I might have snapped at the person asking me the question, which wasn't fair of me I know, but I can't take it back now.
   Anyway getting to the Arch Nemesis part. About 30 minutes into my shift Boss came to me and asked me to do an interview for him. He said he didn't remember if he told her to come back at 4 or 4:30. So I said okay, well just let me know when she gets here. He gave me the app and I didn't bother looking it over. We're currently hiring seasonal help and honestly I'm not putting forth much effort on these. They're only going to be here for 2 or 3 months; so really, I don't care. 
   So at 4:30 he comes back and says your interview is here, but he is giggling like a little girl. So this tells me there is something wrong with this applicant. I just ask him if there something wrong with her, he gets serious and says no there is nothing wrong with her. This is when I look at the app and I see a name I never thought I would see again.
   Before going any further I'm going to give you some background information. Arch Nemesis worked on our campaign probably about 8 months ago, but she was with us for about 2 years. She started off on my team and I thought we got along okay. She wasn't my favorite employee, but we worked alright together, but then she switched to the morning team and boy did things change. 
   One Saturday our shifts overlapped and this was after a big change had happened on the campaign. She had said the stupidest thing I had ever heard and I just looked at here and said I just don't understand how you could think that. She had this super shocked look on her face and just said that's what she was told. When I questioned who she didn't know. It was one my uncensored moments and yes I could have handled that better. I didn't think this day would absolutely forever alter the way this person felt about me.
   After that one day she had hated me with every fiber of her being and oh man could she hold a grudge. She was openly hostile to me and talked about it to the other agents. Even new hires, Dildo Daggins can back me up on that one. 
   Someone once told me she was telling everyone she was going to get me fired. That was of course right around the time "someone" turned me into HR for living with Eleven, who was on my team at the time. I guess that was her way of trying to get me fired, but it didn't work. Eleven was moved to the other team and that was that. Nothing else came of it.
   So yesterday I was to interview this person per Boss' instructions. He absolutely knew my history with her, but yet he still insisted on me doing it. I was livid about the whole thing. I told him he was wasting my time and hers and that he shouldn't be making me do this, but I will since he asked.
   I remained very professional during the entire interview, even though I wanted to scream you smell like a whore! I swear didn't anyone ever tell her not to wear perfume to an interview. I spent most of the interview doing my best to keep my distance and keep from sneezing.
   Per Boss' instructions I asked her the 2nd interview questions even though this was the 1st interview. Every one of her answers were her version of professional so it wasn't the best interview even if you were to strip away our past. After the interview was over I told her we would contact her by the end of the week. She gave me a very nonchalant 'yeah right' look, I'm surprised she didn't roll her eyes before leaving. 
   I went into Boss' office to tell him about the interview although he didn't even really ask me any questions before marking not hired on the app. So if he didn't plan on hiring her in the first place why in the hell was I interviewing her? I think I should change Boss' nick name to Time Waster.   
   So if I could have brought myself to even be the slightest bit unprofessional here are some of the questions I would have asked her.


If we were to hire you back and assigned you to my team how would you handle that?
Would you say you work well with other? Come on be honest.
What was it exactly that made you hate me so much? Was it really that one Saturday two years ago?
Looking back on your past behavior while working here would you say you were well liked?
Why should we hire you back after being such a thorn in our side for so long?
Would you say you pay attention to gossip? Possibly even enjoy spreading your own gossip?
What makes you and your family members act like crazy bitches? Is it in your genetic make-up? Just sayin'.