Haunting Memories

   I have been talking to a few people about the past lately and some even talking about revisiting the past. If you've read my posts from 2009 you know I have struggled with this as well. In the last couple of years I have been living in the present, sometimes in the future, but never in the past. The past is the past and nothing you do will change that.
   Dee text messaged me yesterday asking about an old flame of her's. He apparently recently text her making friendly conversation. You know, jokes about blow jobs of course, that's just the way JT is, and about getting together to play Street Fighter. I'm not really sure what made him contact her, but I wished he hadn't. He is married now with two kids. Dee is in a long term relationship with two kids as well. In her own words "That man drives me crazy". I honestly hate seeing her being sucked back into the past when she has so much in the present. 
   CPK has also recently got in touch with an old flame again. He needs to do what he feels like he needs to do, but I didn't think it was a good idea. However, I personally know what it's like to get over someone you once loved, it's nearly impossible. Unfortunately, making contact with the person only makes healing wounds surface again. I know this first hand.
   After my post about visiting my ex's myspace page I actually added him and we talked for about a month. We talked about the past and how great and fucked up things were. We talked about how we've both changed and become better people. We probably wouldn't have changed at all if we had stayed together. We brought out the worst in each other and that's never a good thing. We didn't really achieve anything in these messages and they eventually stopped. 
   However, about two months after they stopped his girlfriend added me and she started talking to me. She wanted to know about our relationship because he apparently didn't like talking about it much with her. I told her what she wanted to know, but eventually she told me to stop talking about him because she couldn't handle it anymore. She said she still wanted to be friends, but just didn't want to talk about her boyfriend anymore. 
   Eventually I just deleted her from my friends list. She is the one that approached me, asking me questions about her boyfriend, and then told me to stop it. I didn't understand her at the time, but now thinking back, I think I do.
   The past is the past and should be left there. I know it's hard not to dwell on it, but honestly you'll just go insane if you do. When I was dwelling on the past, I became weak, and made contact with the one person I told myself I would never talk to again. 
   I used to think about my ex almost on a daily basis, but today I rarely think about him. I think knowing he has finally moved on makes it easier. So I guess it's a good thing I contacted him in the long run, but at the time, I was an absolute wreck about it. I wasn't in a mentally healthy place at the time. If you read the posts from 2009 you could tell it was a pretty hard year for me. 
   Anyway closing note to all of this: Live for yourself, live in the now. Don't be so driven by your past that you throw away your future.