I'm doing my best to stay optimistic here, I really am. Came across a posting for my own position today. Not what I was expecting at all. It was kind of startling and I was shocked that I wasn't given a heads up, but oh well gotta roll with the punches right? I'm applying for the position, even though it feels a little weird to be applying for a position I already have.
I feel like I'm abandoning my family. I talked to my boss today to tell him about my conflicting emotions and he said he appreciated me telling him the truth, but to trust him, everything will work out. I still found myself almost breaking down in tears in his office. I couldn't help it. I have grown to love everyone I work with and it's just all falling a part.
I know a lot of people are applying for other positions to go with me as well, but I don't know if everything is going to work out. I mean how can I expect everyone to get the positions they apply for. In my eyes they're the most qualified for the position, but as you know from my last post the person making these calls isn't the most competent person in the world. Plus I don't know anything about the other candidates that are applying, some of these people might be very close to the person making the hiring decisions.
I just can't shake the feeling that not everything will work out the way I expect it to. I'm hoping that at least the things I can live with happen. They're certain people I work with that I can't imagine not working with them. However, I know at least three of those people are staying behind and that's depressing enough, but to think the people who are willing to come along might not end up where I want them too is heart breaking to me.
My life is going to change pretty drastically within the next few months, and I'm not sure I'm ready for it. Until everything is for certain I get to go to work every day look at the people I love working with and wonder how much longer it's going to last. I'm just a bottle full of emotions right now...excited, nervous, upset, fearful, nostalgic, optimistic and pessimistic at the same time even. I'm not sure which one I feel the most.
Well that really sucks. I think you need to bite someone... roll with the punches and what happens will happen. Then you can work on fixing it. (Love Mom)
ReplyDeleteEverything will be ok. That's what most people will tell you. But they always forget the most important parts, and that's what I'm here for. (on a quick sidenote, it's nice to see you blogging again)
ReplyDeleteSomeone once said to Voltaire, "Life is hard." Voltaire replied, "Compared to what?" Remember that. Life is only as hard as you make it out to be. While keeping that in mind, remember that it's in our nature to suffer. Suffering is how we better ourselves as people. We must suffer to learn. Without hate, without pain, without evil, there could be no love, joy, or good in the world. If I'm going to be honest here, then I'm going to tell you right now, I think the others that are following(or attempting to) you down to this other site may be making a mistake. For the past year or so, I've been less of a group member, and more of an outsider looking in, and it's become fairly clear that we are all very dependent on each other. We have a sort of hive mindset where we feel the need to bring everyone in on everything. But we are all growing up and some of us are growing away from each other, and that's okay. It's happened to me several times before. The key is to know at what point you need to let go. To understand that just because you're not close to someone anymore, doesn't mean they won't be there for you. You've made strong friends in the past few years. If you think any of us would even be capable of thinking about abandoning you, you'd be dead wrong. Anyway... what it all comes down to is this.
Will everything be ok?
No. It's going to suck. There might be tears, and a disconnect, and you're probably going to hate it at first. But eventually you'll acclimate and things will start to feel normal. Maybe they'll never be the way they were, maybe it'll actually be an improvement. We have no way of knowing what the future holds, so we have to hold out for the best.
When I open your RSS feed it gives me a ton of trash, is the issue on my side?
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot for writing this, it was quite helpful and showed me a ton
Keep it up, nice post! Exactly the info I needed to know.
OLANSI FACTORY
i there, how do i subscribe to your RSS Feed? Gives thanks
ReplyDeleteWith all the doggone snow we have had as of late I am stuck indoors, fortunately there is the internet, thanks for giving me something to do.
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